It’s hard to say but fuck it

No one reads this stuff anyway

 

Lockdown has broken my spirit.

An over indulgent self inflicted

self isolation

that’s lasted over 2 years

 

The world has opened up

I was so happy when it shut down.

It gave me permission to do what I was already doing

Staying home

Staying home

Being alone

 

Feel like I’ve missed the boat in ⛵ this life

I am 17 in a 37 year old body

107

in wisdom

 

All these daydreams

Lost at sea

I was never fearful at 17

Who is this petrified me?

 

Everyone around

all consumed in conventional lives

Just an outsider

As life passes me by

Staying home

Staying home

Being alone

 

Fear is an ally

showing us where we are holding back

But I don’t know where to go

Where to go

I don’t know

 

Got a renewed passport

planning a trip

Wanna be anywhere but here

Don’t wanna go any where

Staying home

Staying home

Staying alone

 

Another day passed

One less day ahead

No invitations

Unmarried

 

Not their family

Simply solo

Once a friend

Now a third wheel

 

Lockdown limits numbers

I am just one

One less than required

For couple’s eve

One baby below par

For the kids parties

 

So I’ll stay home

Stay home

Stay home

Do this alone

 

It’s hard to say but

Fuck it

No one reads this far anyway.