the only way is up

Thinking back over the last year, what I prayed for, what I didn’t even realize I’d asked for, and more, happened. I opened myself up to the world again. I embraced life again, whole heartedly.
And it embraced me back.
I had high hopes for 2013… I needed special stuff to happen, I needed to start writing a new story. I battle with feeling completely in control of my fate and completely at fates mercy. Whilest thinking back on where I have been and what I’ve done this year…. All over Italy and a beautiful exploration in and around Barcelona, I feel like I have (half) got the hang of taking control of life and letting life take control of me. There is a balance that I’m finding between these two thoughts. A balance that’s the answer to many of my questions.
“Universe, why have you done this to me?”
“Because dear girl, you needed a kick in a better direction and you weren’t paying attention to my more gentle and subtle signs…..”
I feel more me than I ever have, I wish I had never been less than I am today… I am confident in who I am becoming. I am far from who I once was but not yet what I’m going to be. Now that I’ve got me back, put myself (almost) back together in an even more dynamic, intricate and fascinating manner … Now that I have started to do this, the only way is up (I say almost because I am being honest and there are things, or just one thing,  still lingering deep).
I’m not going to lie, the last month of my life I’ve been pretty wild. But I am filled with energy and excitement and new appreciation for life and my beautiful city. There is no time like the present, so I’ve been subconsciously making every day count. Which means sometimes not sleeping… midnight romances in the ocean… singing too loud… laughing so hard… driving too fast… I have the potential of completely exhausting myself. But it hasn’t happened yet. There is are too many beautiful moments out there waiting to be experienced.
So, it’s New Years resolution time.
I am taking into 2014 a girl who will continue being open to the opportunities this world presents her with. I will work to keep my head and heart strong and brave.
I will keep building.
I am going into 2014 with love in my heart, love for the world around and within me.
Today I make a promise to honour and love my true self.
I will share my energy with the universe and bring sun and warmth into the days of those around me. When you happy within your soul, you radiate light which shines onto others.
“But what do you REALLY want? What are you really ready for?”
2014 may you help me let go of past hurt.
Help me in the final stage of forgiveness that I know will set me free.
The only way, from here, is up…

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