Dear Miss Control-Freak
I honestly feel that being so full up on relationships your whole life, You let a part (or parts) of you disappear. I feel like aspects of you are still 16 years old, left behind when you fell in-love for the first time. And (just ssssshh and listen for minute, there is a point to this) you don’t notice your lack of internal growth when you’re in it, (I am not criticising you!) I understand that, because these passionate relationships fill so much of you up with love, obsession, anger, frustration, sex, comfort blah blah blah . . . There is no room for anything else, there IS no void – until it’s over. (Okay, I see I have your attention…)
But now you are beginning to realise how many different spheres of yourself exist and need inspiration, need to be nourished and why it felt like your world was crumbling down around you, a year ago, cause it was… He was your world. A ‘he’ always was.
It is true that love is so so (too) powerful, and it has the ability alone to inspire and colour the darkest world in minutes. But to do it yourself is so beautifully challenging, I feel a bit robbed that you are only waking up to this now. Is it just a coincidence that You have now found a job that inspires, rewards and fulfils you? After quietly praying for so long for just that. It’s nothing like you ever imagined. Planned. Stressed about and calculated.
Things never happen as planned, but that’s where the magic lies. You are embracing the unexpected and flourishing through this process. I knew you would.
It’s because You are slowly tapping into who You are, that You are colouring your own world. In all the shades You choose. There is so much of you that has been left blank. And I know you never liked the term ‘work on You’ so let’s put it this way – pick up your crayons and keep colouring….