This week I’ve been behind the 8 ball. I’ve not only felt unprepared to face the world, but within my space I haven’t felt at home.
My work space changed and my home space was changed.
I feel like I’ve been chasing my tale. Barely holding on. Taking care of others, worrying about them, the future… trying to face the standards I set for myself, for another week… and realising, “when was the last time I’ve reassessed my own life, my own space, where am I actually at?”
I’ve told the universe that I’m ready for change. It’s told me, too. Are we actually hearing each other? Who is listening?
Because I feel like I need to spring clean my life. Declutter my inner and outer world. Urgently.
I didn’t think too hard about today apart from “Get to work. Just get there.” I didn’t have breakfast, apart from a big, big coffee. I hadn’t planned lunch and don’t mention dinner.
I just wanted to be a really good teacher today. I wanted to do life from a confident and centered place. On a caffeine fuelled hunger suppression? Well… I’m a high-functioning hungry.
And with that, a friend appeared at my classroom door with a chai latte at 9:30am and a student surprised me with curry, rice, dahl and nan waiting in the kitchen at lunch because “I’ve heard you don’t usually have time to get lunch.”
And I sit here feeling really appreciated. Feeling really grateful. Because on a week that I’m running on empty mentally, but still have the best intention in my heart, the Universe has provided for me.
It’s given me a moment to breath and reflect…
Things need to be different.
And it starts with me.