Reflect on that 2019

 
Somewhere between what she survived and who she was becoming,
was exactly where she was supposed to be.

She learnt that it’s okay not to be okay for a while – And okay feels different every day.

She learnt how to give herself hours, days, weeks, months to manage the heaviness of her grief.
But to eventually get up, put her lipstick on,

smile at herself in the mirror

and show up

for the people and things she cares about.

The world needs women like her.

She learnt that despite it all she has the spirit to still do her best.
And she learnt that everyday her best will look different.
She’s still doing her best.
Sometimes she’ll do it for herself. Often she’ll do it for them.

She’ll be glad she did.

The world needs her.

She came to terms with the fact that people are not projects and to be aware never to fall in love with potential, again.

People can only meet her as deeply as they have truly met themselves.

She had to swallow the bitter pill of someone she loved telling her that her brightness highlights their dark.

She had to find peace in closing that door.

And somehow not wishing herself dim.
Somehow – Not be ashamed of shining.
Even though it had been too much for him.
 
The darkness needs light like hers.
 
She learnt that there is a delicate line between compassion and tolerance.
And that boundaries are only boundaries when honoured.

She learnt that there is compromise
and then there is compromising herself.

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. 

She learnt that what is meant for her, will always find her. (Even when she stops looking… and magically, somehow, especially when she stops.)

She learnt that what is not meant for her, will leave.

And (with every ounce of discipline and with her hand on her heart) to let it.

With grace. (Although drenched by the rain and especially then.)

To find a way to allow things to move on,
shift
and change.
 
And in time,
she’ll look in the mirror & recognise herself again.
 
 
And if her lessons look strangely similar to yours,

know this:

Trust that a couple of months from now – things are going to look very different.

Trust that you’re being upgraded.

The world needs the very best of you!

 

11 thoughts on “Reflect on that 2019

  1. You so beautifully describe a woman of substance!! Not a shallow person who focuses on the surface! Someone with deep emotions and feelings!! You grow daily and it’s so wonderful to learn from you!!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings and your journey through life! May 2020 be filled with many unexpected moments that’ll make you smile ❤️

  2. Love this. You brave, strong beautiful woman.
    This speaks deeply of where I’ve been and sharing this speaks to the universitality of our experiences. I’m happy you can share this. Still standing… taller than ever!

    1. Thank you so much ♥︎ I actually started this ‘blog’ out of that ‘I’m not the only one who’s ever felt this way’ and the reassurance of reading something and not feeling alone. Universality!!

  3. ‘Trust that you’re being upgraded’ – LOVE THAT! Blessed to have gone and continue to go on this journey with you, and you on mine. Keep writing – you inspire us all xx

  4. As a 16 year old with 50 years of somewhat questionable life experience I am humbled by your ability to process your pain. Your words are anathestic to many of us. Keep scribing my most loved wordsmith.

  5. This has made me cry!
    Applicable to all peeps who have faced their pain head on and come out triumphant!
    Well written!
    Beautiful!
    “Upgrade” is going to become my new word. What a word to use for a human!!! Normally it’s only used for phones or gadgets!

    Reflecting on YOU:
    1. Dani is a very very good listener! Sadly, this is not a common skill these days. One really knows she is listening: from her body language (she will always stop what she is doing and face you) and eye contact always. She does not butt in but allows the speaker to say their thing while listening attentively. She will only ask questions if it is to check on some point that she has heard or wants to clarify something.

    2. Dani has a strong sense for justice. She is not afraid to speak out if she believes something is unfair even if this is against the prevailing status quo. As her colleague, I have witnessed this in meetings.

    3. Dani cares for the underdog and social and environmental causes quite deeply. At work she has driven social projects for eg collecting 2nd-hand shoes for the homeless, as well as teaching her classes about the message of Mandela Day and doing a project with them every 18 July. Her energy and devotion to the Pasta Kitchen project is simply inspiring! She is also deeply troubled about animal tourism where wild animals are treated inhumanely or just for the show of tourists and posts articles about this regularly.

    4. Dani has a strong inner strength. Inner strength is often built up through adversity. Dani lost her beloved friend Alexi to illness a few years back. Instead of letting this extremely sad event cripple her for too long, she found innovative ways for herself to heal eg going on solitary walks on Lion’s Head and other places in nature where she could make small stone and flower memorials to Alexi which gave her peace.

    5. Dani is spontaneous and has a playful and adventurous streak which makes her a fun person to have around!

    6. Dani is very loyal and goes the extra mile to ensure those she cares about are happy. She is willing to devote extra time to her students and friends.

    7. Dani has a sparkly and vivaciousness that attracts people. They are attracted not only to that beautiful smile on that most attractive face, but to what she says and how she says it!

    8. Dani is willing to learn. She has a natural curiosity to learn and to deepen her knowledge in all facets, whether that be in subjects or topics on spirituality, physical health, emotional health, nature and the environment, travelling and more.

    X

  6. She had to swallow the bitter pill of someone she loved telling her that her brightness highlights their dark.

    She had to find peace in closing that door.

    And somehow not wishing herself dim.
    Somehow – Not be ashamed of shining.
    Even though it had been too much for him.

    *WOW*

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